pop-up thought

Damn it. It's 12.41am & I is kenot sleep. So I decided to write about something that pop-up in my mind just now & don't want to forget it.

So, this day genap 4 tahun gambar kat atas tu di ambil. It's Kamil with Aira Nursyifa. Just so you know; our first born should be same as her age. Aku pregnant bulan 12, 2014 & my sis bulan 2, 2015. We received the news right after my miscarriage. Ikut EDD doctor, aku bersalin sepatutnya bulan 9, 2015.

Sesungguhnya Allah itu lebih mengetahui & berkuasa keatas sesuatu, few days before Aira lahir aku accident & of course without having the baby. & we're ended sent my sis to the hospital sebab masatu her husband tak dapat balik kampung on time. Kamil pula shoot balik Segamat dr Shah Alam lepas aku accident. No one available masatu & since aku tgh MC, Kamil pun ada then kamilah yg hantarkan.

Ada masa bila aku tengok Aira lama-lama mesti terdetik dalam hati; sepatutnya mine pun dah besar Aira, dah pergi school jugak & mesti dia bestfriend Aira. Kalau dia ada...(ishhhhh)

Anak mama, I know you're playing happily up there. Even masatu kamu hanyalah segumpal darah, tp kamu duduk dgn mama for few weeks. It is still the memory that I missed the most & will never forget. Mama harap nanti akhirnya dapat bermain dgn kamu mcm other moms kat syurga Allah. Aku tulis ni bukanlah sebab aku tak terima ketentuan Allah, apa yg dah jadi; it's just I don't want to forget those memories & I'm afraid I will forget it. I write so that I can read it back & will not forget.

Sungguh aku tak mau lupa semuanya, meskipun rasa sakit itu.

Aira dlm pada dia susah nak socialize dgn aku, sempat dia kenakan aku masa makan td.
A: Ada nasi dlm cawan ni bibik.
B: Lah.. mana pulak datangnya? (Sebab dia tak makan nasi & I sit next to her)
A: Dari bibik lah ni. Takkan acikamel pulak, Acikamel mana ada.
B: ... HAHAHAHAHAH!